Who’s Your Daddy?

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My daughter has daddy issues – I am not going to deny that. Her daddy issues are not the Jerry Springer sort. They are the cause of a divorce 3 years ago.

Her father stayed in his state of choice and we moved back to my hometown and home state. Only because she would have more social opportunities, the schools are better, and we would have more family/friend support.

Keri’s contact with her father has been spotty at best. I wanted her to have contact with him and tried to push that contact. At first, he refused contact with her when we first moved away. Then he would do phone contact and not do video chat. The calls were inconsistent as well as the video chat when that started to happen. He would go months with out contacting her … and her behavior followed in a negative spike of aggression when he stopped contacting her. As well as Keri saying in her very limited speech at that time “No daddy … no nice daddy”.

Then the contact was consistent for a while. Then in the summer of 2013, Keri’s father decided to visit after her not seeing him in person for 2 years. Keri was fine for that week and then her behavior gradually got worse after her left. Until finally she had to be hospitalized for 3 months for extreme behavioral issues (another story for another time).

While in the hospital, Keri and her father did video chat. Then he got the bright idea to move closer – into the house of some chick he met online. He tried so he could be closer Keri. I do give him credit for trying – but it backfired on him. This chick turned out to be crazy or something. They broke up and he move back to his old state and his old job.

During the time he was up here, he did see Keri a hand full of times. After he moved away, I have not pushed contact with him and Keri. This has been a big trigger for her – her daddy related issues.

Anyway, about two weeks ago, Keri started to call John (my boyfriend of 3 years) “Daddy”. He has been around her consistently and has been more of a father to her than her own father.

The funny thing about this, even with the limited speech, is the depth of understanding that Keri has.  She had created a verbal difference between John and her biological father. Keri calls John “John Daddy”, “John”, or “Daddy”. Keri now calls her biological father “Spikey Haired Daddy” … he is no longer “Daddy”.

Keri is always surprising me with her insight and understanding!!!

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